Author: Markovik E.
ISBN: 978-0312360115
Just another pick-up book.
EXCERPTS
Demonstrating a higher value:
- "peacocking" (dressing outlandishly)
- preselecting (displaying other women to the "target" which often builds a jealousy plotline into your seduction),
- social proof (showing that others in her set value you highly),
- "negging" (making subtle-yet-negative statements that put your target off-guard and make her question her own value,' increasing yours on a relative basis).
The fear of a cold approach never goes away. It's hardwired into your brain. Confidence is not the objective. Competence is.
Logic should never be used as a motivator in the field, because what a woman thinks she likes, or says she likes, is not necessarily what she responds to in reality emotionally (and thus sexually). [Or any person for that matter.]
Instead of only trying to give her "good" emotions while avoiding "bad" ones, stimulate her with a range of feelings including curiosity, fascination, connection, indignation, validation, laughter, embarrassment, happiness, sadness, and fear of value loss. The more she is stimulated, the more compelling the experience will be for her. [Bla bla bla... Be you!]
You demonstrate higher value when people perceive that you're accustomed to this social pressure and otherwise unaffected by it.
Even though you're wearing nonconformist clothing, you can still survive in this world! Women will think, Wow, despite that "tail," he's still here; he's still alive! They will perceive this as social dominance.
The key is that people must see your personality as congruent with your "peacocked" image. A man with a top hat and a feather boa, a woman on each arm, surrounded by laughing friends, looks like the man. Everyone in the room will notice him, and women will whisper to one another and want to be introduced to him. But the same man in those same clothes sitting alone in the corner will look like a social reject.
A Venusian artist will never brag publicly about his sexual conquests unless doing so (with her permission) legitimately raises her social status. If you brag, not only will it eventually get back to her, but also any other woman who hears it will be on notice that sexual relations with you carry social consequences.
The Venusian artist must always be leading the interaction. He has no choice. Women seldom take responsibility for what is happening.
Persistence is another way to relieve her of any responsibility for what is happening. Of course, don't confuse persistence with begging, arguing, or being pushy, needy, or creepy. All it means is don't give up too easily.
Girls may test you to find out how easily you throw in the towel—-they want to gauge your self-confidence.
We only feel compelled to chase the ones who run away.
Once they are invested in trying to catch something, it can become their single-minded focus.
The bottom line is, don't ask about her boyfriend and don't appear fazed if the mentions him. He may not even exist. Just take it at an instance of a lack of interest caused by you telegraphing too much interest far too soon.
People are likely to act based on their emotions and then backward-rationalize.
A woman's reputation is often very important to her, and thus she is much more likely to indulge sexually when she trusts that there will be no social consequences.
A woman often won't do anything that makes her feel responsible for the escalation - she needs plausible deniability. The Venusian artist must take responsibility to make things happen and act with moxie.
A woman will seek out fun and stimulation—and avoid confrontation and discomfort.
Part of being a man of value is pursuing your dreams, having a strong identity, and living a passionate life.
Focus on building your skill, not on meeting your new girlfriend or "getting laid."
Don't obsess over a particular woman. Forget about that girl you have been pining over for the past three months. You need to train first.
It is easier to attract a new woman than it is to fix things when they go wrong with your existing target.
Go out gaming four nights per week for four hours each night. Make an average of three approaches per hour. This schedule allows for a good twenty minutes per approach.
You really do have to not care.
The one who releases himself from the emotional attachment to a desired outcome is, ironically, the one most likely to realize that one outcome. [Also in business.]
Just like Surfing or scuba diving, the process of playing the Game itself is its own reward.
If a woman considers a man to be sexually attractive to other women, she may instantly feel an attraction toward him.
Stand by yourself at the bar and you will not appear nearly as attractive as you would if you had women hanging off both arms.
To know whether you are nearing the point of no return, ask yourself: "Is this foreplay?" If the answer is yes, stop! Push her away. Build comfort, not arousal. It takes a real man with reserve to say, "Whoa, we better stop." With this winning move you build trust by demonstrating you want to get to know her for more than mere sexual favors.
You have established enough comfort to get her into a private seduction location, such as your bedroom. You may then sexually arouse her and allow nature to take its course unimpeded.
You may build intimacy and get close to the point of no return several times, so long as you are the first to push her away each time you've approached it.
The friend has a very specific connotation in the Game. It is someone who fears expressing his romantic intent to a woman he has spent time getting to know.
If you fail to convey to a woman that you are a potential romantic interest to her during the comfort stage, she may not be intuitive enough to see that in fact you are one. Not holding her hands, smelling her neck, or kissing her during the comfort stage can trap you there. In fact, a woman may grow so comfortable with your nonsexual nature that she will prefer you stay that way. When you finally attempt to move into the seduction stage with a woman and you hear her say, "Let's just be friends," you are trapped in the friendship zone.
What if you find yourself stuck in the friendship zone with a highly prized target? Is there still hope, or is all lost? At that point, if you still desire this target, the only thing you can do is take yourself away from her for a while—and then come back a new man.
You're going to have to demonstrate higher value, and the only way you can do that is by showing an improvement in your S-and-R value.
Move to a new apartment, get a hot new car—basically, reinvent yourself. You have to show her that you're no longer the same person. Most important, you need to come back with a new girl as well to build in a jealousy plotline. She could have had you but chose not to, and now that she can't have you again, she will want you.
Make no mistake: Demonstrating higher value under these circumstances is really hard. In fact, it's harder than going back to square one, because now you have to prove to her that you have value that she already knows you don't have.
Forget about merely projecting higher value; now you must actually possess it.
The Game is played in the field. Get out there.
Gaming is like golfing or fishing. You must enjoy the process and release expectation from outcome in order to get the best results in the long term.
There are certain hardwired attraction switches in every woman's mind. Attraction is not a conscious choice that people make. Rather, it's a response that they feel automatically as a result of these switches being flipped. [No emotion is a conscious choice! System 1 and 2 - Kahneman.]
The preselection switch gets triggered when a woman sees that you have already been preapproved by other women.
While you are comfort building, it is important to convey to the woman that you are a sexual man and a potential romantic interest. Otherwise you can get trapped in the friendship zone.
Women have certain strategies, built up over time, that enable them to avoid constant approaches from men. This is known as the protection shield. Even though a woman is probably a nice person, she can sometimes appear bitchy as a result. It's not who she really is.
It is necessary to have sex several times before the sexual relationship is ensured. During and even after this point she will continue testing you for congruence.
Keep in mind that no one else in the venue knows whom you already know and don't know. It certainly seems as if you know them— after all, you entered the venue and walked right up to them, and now they are enjoying a fun conversation with you. From the perspective of adjacent sets, it appears you must be a social guy with lots of friends!
As you eventually move from one set to the next, this positive perception of you continues to grow. You are becoming socially proofed in the venue.
You don't always have to have a legitimate target to enjoy interacting with people.
This approach will make you appear naturally confident and not insecurely bold.
Be willing to crash and burn every set for the entire night. Do it for fun with your wing.
Don't try to look "cool" or "tough." You will just look bored and boring. Instead, be comfortable and friendly.
Enthusiasm is contagious.
Smile as you walk around the venue. Guys who don't have success with women don't smile.
Avoid noisy areas. If you can't talk, you can't run game. Find the quietest areas of the club. And avoid the dance floor.
Don't drink or at least cut back. If you go out gaming without alcohol, you will really notice an improvement in your abilities. Alcohol is not a legitimate tool for handling your anticipatory anxiety.
One of the attraction switches in women is the leader-of-men switch. When you lead the men, the women will follow.
Whatever happens, it's crucial that you not be affected by a woman's shielding behavior, no matter how unacceptable such behavior may be. If she is able to shake your internal sense of reality, your value will drop in her eyes. Never get angry—just stay in a good mood and be unaffected. It's no big deal.
How will you know that you have disarmed her shield?
- When she laughs at your jokes—even the bad ones
- When she turns to face you, makes eye contact, and is responsive to you
- When she touches you—usually a soft grab of your arm, leg, necklace, or hair
- When she asks you your name
Although certain stock routines and even powerful, field-tested gambits are traded online and are available in books, in the longer term you must develop your own material.
She should always feel like you are about to leave in A1. One way of creating this impression is through false time constraints or FTCs.
Try to approach sets that include men, and practice gaming them as well. Women have a "leader-of-men" attraction switch.
Women have various protection shield strategies, which they use to screen out men. But a Venusian artist can coax a woman into lowering her shield by conveying lack of interest while demonstrating value.
You can create negative social proof with certain behaviors, such as standing against the wall with your drink against your chest, standing in a group of guys, circling the venue in a predatory fashion, looking around the venue with a serious expression on your face, et cetera.
Toss your neg like a pebble. Before it reaches its destination, turn your head away and continue the conversation with the group in a "throw and go" fashion. As far as she can tell, it's not something that you're still thinking about or gave much thought to in the first place.
Examples of DHVs:
- Preselection from other women
- Appearing to be a leader of men
- Being supporter and protector of those you love
- Being nonneedy
- Being unaffected
- Social intelligence
- Negging her (this IOD is a DHV also)
- Having a strong frame
- Having interesting knowledge
- Emotional stimulation
- Being socially "in demand"—other people are seeking your attention or validation (alternately they are paying attention to what you are saying)
- Connecting conversationally
Talking about something that makes her feel bored or sad or think about her boyfriend back home, et cetera. For whatever reason, it is more useful to you to end that conversational topic than to continue talking about it. When this happens, simply CUT the thread and stack to the next routine.
If you see the girl from a distance and you've assessed the scenario as a single, you can wait there for her to notice you and immediately go over. Or you can just go over without waiting. Caution: Do not establish eye contact and then fail to approach—and then think you can use that eye contact later to approach her. If you do this, you have stalled out the set.
By breaking the Three-Second Rule, you risk her thinking you wanted to approach yet chickened out. It's still possible to win the set, but you're now in damage-control mode.
Minimize the time between when the girl notices you and when you initiate the chat. Smile and enter, using any opener you please.
HOW TO PRACTICE YOUR GAME • Do the MM Newbie Drill for at least a month or two. Open three sets per hour, four hours per night, four nights per week. • Follow the Three-Second Rule. • Have an opener memorized, as well as a neg and a false time constraint. Also have one other routine ready to go before freestyling your set. • Practice your delivery, which includes body language, body rocking, voice tonality, a comfortable attitude, and a strong frame. Work on naturalizing your delivery through repetition. • Release all expectation of outcome and just enjoy the process like a new hobby. • Don't be picky about your sets—it's all just practice. Open mixed sets. There are a lot of good people to meet in this world. • Practice locking in to your set as early as possible. • Practice multiple conversational threads and thread cutting. • Every other night, add a new routine to your routine stack. Have at least one or two good stories to tell.
• Have an accomplishment intro for your wing to throw into set. Have one for him, too. • Every few nights add a new neg, a false disqualifier, a roleplaying gambit, or some other canned material to your routine stack. Practice them and get them up to speed. Eventually you'll need them to work without fail. • If your mind goes blank, have a standard procedure in place to handle the block. Prepare for it now so you don't have to deal with it later. Even experienced pickup artists go blank; they just have a few stories prepared for when it happens. For example, a specific routine is useful, as is giving a compliment and following it up with a question. Another strategy is to think of a question you might normally ask and rephrase it as a comment. Instead of asking, "How many brothers and sisters do you have?," say, "I bet you're the youngest in your family." Practice spontaneous conversation. It is better to get into a talkative state and talk about anything (simply be cautious not to DLV) than to say nothing. As long as you speak, you convey personality.
Push each set as far as you can just for the practice. Use kino escalation and compliance testing as much as possible. Kino escalation is by far the most important concept to master.
So, how do you all know each other?" is a question that usually arises in every set, and it tends to yield very useful information.
If you are doing things for a girl, chasing after her, showing off to her, reacting to her, apologizing to her, and explaining yourself to her, those are all IOIs that she can measure and exploit.
You jump into her hoops, two things will happen. One, she will feel really good about herself - some part of her will be reassured on a primal level. And two, she may lose attraction. Just because she likes something doesn't mean that it will get you any closer to having sex with her.
Be careful. On one hand, you don't want to be the chump who gets tooled. On the other hand, you also don't want to be the social robot that is always playing power games when he should be relaxing and confidently enjoying his interactions with women. People aren't always trying to fuck with you.
When a hoop does come along, the average frustrated chump is eager to jump into her hoop. He thinks it shows her how much he cares. He thinks it is romantic and will win her over. He thinks any guy who does otherwise is a jerk. But you don't have to jump into her hoop. You can turn it back on her. Or you can create a new hoop just for her. Or you can ignore it entirely—silence is often the best response. Some examples:
PUT UP A NEW HOOP Girl: Why are you talking to me? You: Do you always wear your lipstick like that? —OR — You: [to her friends] is she always like this? Get this. [start a routine]
IGNORE HER COMMENT Girl: What is with your shirt? You: (silence) —OR — You: Hey, guys, get this. Last weekend, my friend and I [start a routine]
GRAB HER HOOP Girl: Will you buy me a drink? You: Buy me a drink and we will see.
Bait the target into innocuous little hoops: "Could you hold my drink for a sec? Thanks." Over time, as she falls into your frame, those hoops can become larger and more frequent. In the science of social dynamics, this process is known as compliance momentum. Soon she'll derive pleasure from rubbing your back and cooking your dinner, but for now start small by making her guess your age.
Some examples of this: EXAMPLE 1 Girl: How old are you? You: Guess Girl: Hmm.. . twenty-six? You: Close. I'm actually twenty-eight. In the first example, she asks your age. But Instead of answering straightaway, you make her guess first. In the second example, she tries the same trick back on you-but your frame is too strong!
EXAMPLE 2 You: How old are you? Girl: Guess. You: Do you want me to guess low or guess high? Girl: Guess low! You: Okay then.. . I'd say you you look about twentytwo.
For example, a few minutes into the pickup, when you have some light kino (physical contact), you can say, "You know, you're really good at this." Without fail, she'll reply, "Good at what?" or "What exactly do you mean?" Your reply: "Your social skills just bought you three more minutes of my time. Good for you." Then smile and stack forward immediately.
Notice the unspoken assumptions: You are the prize, you are the one being chased, and you decide whether this will go to the next level (and the next phase). If you will take any girl you can get, you must be a loser.
Notice the unspoken assumptions: You are the prize, you are the one being chased, and you decide whether this will go to the next level (and the next phase). If you will take any girl you can get, you must be a loser. But if you are picky, you must be a winner, and her emotional circuitry is designed to respond to winners automatically. Attraction is not a choice.
Some examples of role-reversal lines:
- "Don't think you're going to get something just because you're buying me this drink."
- "Geez, are you always this forward?"
- "I don't want to rush things."
- "I don't want to get hurt. I need lots of comfort and trust first."
- "I want to get to know you better first."
- "I don't do that on a first date."
- "Hey, hands off the merchandise. This isn't free, you know"
- "I'll be the judge of that."
- "You just want me for my body."
Take her hand, then as she reciprocates pull back and say, "Not so fast."
- "Are you always this fast?"
- "... yeah, if you're lucky."
- "I'm not ready to be in a relationship right now."
- "I wore my old briefs tonight to make sure nothing happens,"
- "I swear, all you girls do is think about one thing."
- "Oh my God, are you groping me?"
- "You're a really nice girl" (This one is killer!)
- "That guy over there looks perfect for you."
- "I don't even know you."
- "Let's just be friends."
The preceding lines are examples of what someone with the right attitude might say.
Memorize some of them, try them in your next set. See how things change in your favor. It's not the lines themselves that are important but the internal strength of frame that accompanies them. When you have strong inner game, the right things will come out of your mouth automatically.
Also note that when you accuse her of being forward or of trying to get you into bed, that doesn't mean it's true. It's not—you are deliberately misinterpreting the situation. But if your frame is strong enough, she will get sucked in and respond as though it were true.
If I do take a liking to you, it is more than just for your looks. It is because you are a special and unique person who lives up to my high expectations. I will only be with a quality woman, and that's what you are.
The idea is to get her hoping that she's good enough to qualify for you. After all, you are a high-value guy. Sure, you're curious about her, but you want to know more. Is she smart? Does she have a lot of friends? Does she have a good relationship with her family? Can she dance well? (You know what that means!) What's the most spontaneous thing she's done recently? Can she cook?
"Is there more to you than meets the eye? • "What do you want to be when you grow up? • There are lots of beautiful women here. But what's really important is the energy, the intelligence, the little things about a person that make her unique. What are some things about you that would make me want to get to know you better?"
"There are some people who... they think they're openminded and adventurous. They make all these great plans... they talk about meeting new people, or going on a diet, or taking a cool trip. But they don't. They just sit around doing the same old boring shit, over and over again, Are you like that?"
You don't want it to be explicit that you are Screening her. Be very subtle, and she will realize it on her own accord, without thinking you're trying to make her feel screened.
She naturally assumes that the man she is looking for will be selective. It's a behavior that she's been expecting and thus is a powerful DHV. It sets the right frame, it's the signal she's been waiting for, and it baits her to invest.
Animal trainers know that it's much more effective to reward intermittently than consistently. Likewise, IOIs given to the target as a reward should not be delivered predictably. Uncertainty must be introduced to the equation to make the experience more compelling, so that she can feel a broader range of emotions such as hope, doubt, surprise, longing, fear of loss, and other forms of drama.
Questions to Spark Investment
- "What's your favorite color?"
- "What did you think of high school?"
- "What did you eat for dinner last night?"
- "Have you ever been to the hospital emergency room?"
- "How old where you when you first got drunk?"
- "Did you and your siblings keep secrets?"
- "Ever had a very rough breakup?"
- "What's your favorite food, vacation, or place to visit?"
"Kino" is an abbreviation for "kinesthetic," which refers to the sense of touch. When Venusian artists speak of kino, they are referring to physical touching of any kind.
An important principle in the Game is that nothing is ever a big deal. The typical chump takes a girl out on a date and then hopes to get the kiss at the end of the night. He wants to show her how respectful he is. As the evening passes, he comes closer and closer to that awkward moment at the end of the night when he has to make the big move and go in for the kiss. This makes it a big deal. If the moment of your first kiss is weird and awkward, it will probably also be your last kiss. Women are very unforgiving about this sort of thing.
They have a fantasy about meeting the right guy, about how perfect it will be, about how everything will happen so naturally, and about how it will feel so right. And the truth is, with guys who have game (read: practice), that's exactly how it does happen.
When things go down the right way there never is a "big moment" when you go in for the kiss and "make it happen." Instead, there is a natural flow of kino from the very early stages of the set that leads all the way to the sex. It should be seamless: a series of small, naturally executed moments, few of which ever stick out in any remarkable way. She feels like it's just a natural connection. Thus the kino begins in the early stages of the set and escalates from there.
Windows of Escalation. As you game a girl—as you demonstrate value and lack of neediness, stimulate emotions, take control of the frame, make a connection, and so on—periodically a window of opportunity will open for you to escalate. If you miss the hint and that window closes, you have just demonstrated lower value. Soon her patience will wear thin. Miss enough open opportunities and she'll decide that you're either too chicken to make a move or incompetent in carrying it out.
Any of these are DLVs. If she is standing there talking to you, just continue escalating. Always assume that it's on.
Some forms of kino include: • Hand on knee • Sitting on lap • Arm around waist • Touching face • Smelling or pulling hair • Hand on ass
Nonstandard Touching. When touching a girl's hand, you're not trying to set a frame that the two of you are explicitly "hand-holding" like a couple of teenagers marking their territory. Instead, you might be reading her palm, or thumb-wrestling with her, or showing her some jive handshake, or taking her hand and spinning her around in a playful little dance.
What's important is that as she becomes accustomed to your hands touching, this simple act should seem natural and normal to her. It shouldn't seem like you're trying to get somewhere with her, like it usually does when some guy wants to hold her hand or put his arms around her. Instead, it's fun and feels right as you create this comfort with your touch. Just don't let each touch persist until it becomes uncomfortable for her.
Don't Make Excuses. Don't be tentative and wimpy about touching—be natural and confident. Touching (guys and girls) is one way that alpha males like you demonstrate their dominance. • Arm in arm • Hands touching • Embracing • Embracing from behind • Kissing lips • Kissing or nibbling on neck
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back. While escalating, take one step forward, metaphorically speaking. At any sign of hesitation or defiance, take two steps back. Then step forward once again. For example, if you take her hand and you sense any hesitation, throw her hand away. Later when you take it again, she will comply more readily. The principle is that the "two steps back" creates more discomfort than the "one step forward." Thus the target becomes more likely to comply with future forward steps.
Once that tension has been created, it's now time to push her away. This might mean physically ("Get off me, jeez") or emotionally, such as using a back-turn, false disqualifier, or some other IOD. You might frame it as though you are the prize and you're not going to let her get anywhere with you tonight 'cause you have to work tomorrow.
When you push her away it spikes attraction. She will respond more playfully to you now. It also creates comfort. She doesn't feel like you're trying to get something if you're constantly pushing her away. This allows her to feel safe while having fun with you. She can allow the emotional stimulation to escalate instead of having to shut it off in self-defense. And the push makes it that much more stimulating for her when you do pull her back in.
For this reason, toss her hand away after thumb-wrestling or palmreading. Devise a kino routine where you embrace her for a few seconds of role-playing, then push her away. Mix signals . . . draw near to her saying that it would never work out between you, but stroke your finger down her cheek at the same time. Then turn away. Use body rocking in conjunction with IOIs, IODs, false disqualifiers, roleplaying, stories, and so on.
This is a useful time to use sniper negs such as "eye boogers," "you spit on me," and "here's a napkin." Remember, you don't get blamed for the eye booger—God does. You aren't trying to make her feel embarrassed—it just happened. It is at this time that she wants to regain your respect and she wants to feel good again, so when you make your move she won't get all cocky and pull away. She'll accept it because she felt embarrassed and became quiet. Of course, don't reward her for being a goof, because that would be incongruent. So amp up her embarrassment by acting uninterested for a bit, then play nice guy and say, "Don't be embarrassed for being human." Then stop being "into" the conversation for a bit. In that state of mind, she is extremely susceptible to escalation.
COMPLIANCE TEST IOIs • You take her hand and drop it.. . she grabs for it again • You squeeze her hand and she squeezes back • You touch her and she touches you back • You put her hand on your knee and she leaves it there • You put her arm in yours and walk her around the venue. She complies • You sit her on your lap. She allows it • When you are locked in, you take her hand and pull her in a little closer as you are talking at the same time. Now she is standing between your legs as you run game on her.
One concept central to the Mystery Method is compliance testing. Request your target do something for you, be it hold your drink, hold your arm, scratch your back, kiss you, or spread her legs.
If she complies with your move, several things are accomplished: First, similar to kino pinging, it is an IOI ping and also creates attraction. Second, you have escalated—she is now more comfortable with your touch. Third, her frame has been further influenced and absorbed by your own. Reward her with an IOI, but do so intermittently. You might do a compliance test with her hands and then throw them away. But then her next compliance might be rewarded with a compli
Mutual compliance occurs in C1. In A2, if she drops something, you bust on her for it. You do not give her any of your compliance yet, However, in the comfort stage, if she drops something, pick it up for her. It's here that you show that you will comply for her. This is attractive, as she wants someone to take care of her. She just doesn't want it until mid-game.
Once in comfort, the Venusian artist and his target should both comply for each other all the way to a mutual seduction.
Do not look for her approval or even her being "OK with it." Just lead.
Touching with Motion. It's just a way of escalating more smoothly, which she will appreciate. Make her feel good.
She is also more accustomed to your touch and accepting of it. This works because of the consistency principle. She didn't object because the touch was already gone. But by not objecting some part of her has accepted it.
Periodically, the time comes to let a girl know she is qualifying for you. She has to feel like she is winning you over; otherwise, she will get discouraged.
• "You are so adorable... it's sickening." • "You know, you can be pretty interesting sometimes. • "You're awesome! Just kidding." • "It's weird... I feel so good around you." (False disqualifier) "Too bad you're not my type."
• "You're pretty... and evil." • Oh my God. you're a dancer? That is so awesome. I can't even talk to you now"
Statement of interest (SOI) is an explicit verbal statement making clear your growing interest in her. For example, buy her a drink and say one of the following: • "When we met, you just seemed like another one of those California blondes, but since I've gotten to know you, I actually feel nervous around you now" • "Oh my God, I can't believe this. Can you believe we met at a bar?" • "We're going to sit down over there; would you like to join us?"
• "You know what? You are actually pretty cool. I'm curious about you." • "I have to hang out with you again sometime. Can you cook?"
• No crap about "you are so hot, "you are my dream girl" etc. In other words, compliment from a screening frame, not a begging frame. • Compliment her style, her energy, her poise, or something unique about her outfit that she chose. Don't be that guy who is constantly complimenting girls on their necklaces. Learn to notice things. • Try giving her a compliment followed by a screening question. • Try using constructive criticism after making the compliment.
This is a powerful way to neg her and demonstrate value. • DON'T MENTION HER LOOKS.
Just tell her how you "view" her and she will become that person for you—but only if she agrees and it is flattering for her. You are building a character for her, and she will play the role because she likes the way that the role makes her feel. Here are some examples of compliments:
- "You seem like someone who really knows what she wants. I admire that."
- "You really care about your friends. I bet you will make a really good mother."
- "You have a good energy."
- "I notice you're the leader of your friends. Why is that?"
- "You're a great conversationalist."
- "You're a very classy girl. What are you doing in a place like this?"
- "Wow, you seem so confident with your friends, like you're kinda the leader of your peer group. I just love your energy. . . . Are you close with your family?" (Going into next routine.)
- "You have such an expressive personality. . .
You want to give IOIs to the target, but you don't want to seem too easy. (Otherwise she won't value your pair bond; instead, she will enjoy your IOIs as a validation of her sexual power, but she will lose attraction for you.)
Here is an example, using my identity: Mystery: If you could be anything in the world with no chance of failure, what would you want to be? And don't say princess. Girl: Um, an actress. Mystery: Really? When I was little I wanted to grow up and be a magician. And you know what I am now? A magician! So you want to be an actress. I'm living proof that our dreams can come true. It would be so cool if you were an actress. I love that! We need to figure out how to make that happen. I bet you'd be an amazing actress. But what if you get more attention than me? I can't even hang out with you now.
You: How old are you? Her: Twenty-three, how about you? [Hook] You: [Ignoring her question] Hold out your hand. Her: [She complies—spin her.] You: How graceful! I bet you were a ballet geek. You: What do you want to be when you grow up? Her: I want to be a teacher. . . I'm studying education at [XYZ] School [Hook!] You: Wow that's a good school. This is funny, I thought you were like these other girls; I gave you way insufficient credit. I bet you'd be really good working with children; you'll probably make a great mother someday. Too bad you're totally not my type. You're a cool girl; we should find you someone tonight.
If your frame is strong enough, you can get away with anything. You can use any opener, any line, any spontaneous attitude, and it will work—but you must be congruent.
Women and men will play frame games on you and test you for congruence. Women are seeking a strong mate and men are competing for dominance.
There are all sorts of hoops that people will produce to see if you will jump. Don't. Instead, bait them to jump into your hoops.
When using canned material, remember that what's really important is the inner game. With practice, your internal frame will become congruent and comfortable with spontaneous interaction as well as canned material. • You must have standards about what sort of woman you want to be with. This will be communicated in your frame through many subtle cues in your body language and speech.
Calibrate gently—you don't want her to think this is a tactic to flip her attraction switch. (The standards must be real.)
Intermittent rewarding is more effective than consistent rewarding. Use IODs to add a hot-cold, push-pull dynamic when you are Stimulating and rewarding the target.
There is a natural flow of kino from the very early stages of the set that leads all the way to sex. Nothing is ever a big deal; there is never any "big move." It's just how the two of you are when you are together.
Almost all interactions at some point come down to a test for compliance. Will you get compliance or defiance? The compliance threshold is the point where she realizes that she benefits more if she complies.
Don't compliment a woman on her looks. Don't even mention her looks.